I’ve had seasons where I doubted everything — my abilities, intelligence, voice, and potential. Confidence felt like something other people were born with.
But through trial, error, and psychology, I found 3 things that helped me shift from self-doubt to quiet, grounded confidence.
Step 1: Focus on Identity Wins, Not Just Outcomes
Instead of obsessing over results, I asked: “What kind of person am I becoming?” Even when something flopped, I noticed how I showed up — persistent, curious, brave.
💡 Based on: Identity-based motivation (James Clear, Dweck’s mindset theory)
Step 2: Build Micro-Proof Daily
I started tracking 1 small action every day that aligned with who I wanted to be. A message I sent. A hard thing I did. A risk I took. Each one became “proof” that I’m not faking it — I’m practicing it.
💡 Psychology: Self-efficacy grows through repetition and perceived success
Step 3: Talk to Myself Like I’d Talk to Someone I Care About
I rewrote my self-talk script. When I felt like an imposter, I asked: “If my best friend were in my shoes, what would I say to her?” Then I said that to myself — out loud.
💡 Backed by: Self-compassion research (Kristin Neff), cognitive restructuring
You don’t need to “feel” confident to act with confidence.
It’s not about faking it — it’s about practicing trust, one small action at a time. That’s how I started showing up like someone who believes in herself.