Want to ruin your child’s self-esteem quickly and effectively? Just follow these 3 simple steps.
Of course, please don’t. This is a reverse guide — because the truth is, a lot of well-meaning parents do these things without realising how damaging they are.
So let’s break it down — the “easy” way to crush a child’s confidence, and why you should do the exact opposite.
Step 1: Shout First, Ask Questions Never
Lose your temper. Yell when they make a mistake. Use phrases like:
- “What’s wrong with you?!”
- “How many times do I have to tell you?!”
- “You never listen!”
Make your voice louder than their emotions, and they’ll learn one thing: when I mess up, I get punished — not supported.
💡 Psychological effect: Fear-based parenting activates the fight-flight system. Over time, this creates shame, insecurity, and emotional withdrawal — not discipline.
Step 2: Correct More Than You Connect
Only notice what’s wrong. Nag. Point out every failure. Compare them to others who “do it better.” This teaches them that love is conditional — and perfection is the only safe option.
💡 What the science says: Over-correction without warmth lowers self-worth and attachment security. It teaches children to disconnect from their own inner voice.
Step 3: Dismiss Their Feelings
When they cry or act out, roll your eyes and say:
- “Stop crying.”
- “You’re fine.”
- “It’s not a big deal.”
That way, they’ll learn their emotions are invalid, inconvenient, and best kept to themselves.
💡 Long-term impact: Emotional suppression increases anxiety, weakens resilience, and destroys authentic confidence.
Please — don’t do these things.
Every parent loses their temper. Every parent feels overwhelmed. But confidence isn’t built through control — it’s built through safety, connection, and consistent compassion.
Connect before you correct. Listen before you lecture. And when in doubt, pause — even just for 10 seconds.
Your child’s inner voice is being shaped by yours. Let it be kind.